If Diabetes Could Talk

Lately, my diabeties hasn't been treating me the way it usually does - the way I like it to. Balanced. Simple. Manageable. Some days are worse than others, but I handle it the best I can nonetheless. Every type one has those days where they wish they could just put their entire situation with all the needles, blood sugar, and insulin on hold for just 24 hours to feel normal again - or for those who were born with it to feel what its like to not have a headache, or worry about counting carbs and eating healthy. I'll admit it, we all have our weak days, some more than others, but in the end its always worth it.

My sugar don't always behave. In all honestly, they've been quite a roller coaster the last week or so. One morning I woke up and they were normal, I was a bad decision maker and did not eat breakfast, and a few hours later they went up to 19. Then wildly enough, went down to 2.1 an hour and a half later. It was pretty crazy, and really made me want to just scream out "I QUIT". Days like these are what I consider "weak days". The days where I just wish diabetes wasn't a factor in my life and it just gave me a break every once in a while where I could go on a cookie binge, or eat all the skittles I wanted to. But as we know, diabetes has no mercy. It is there 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days of the year. It won't go away, even if I ask it to super nicely. But what if diabetes could talk? What if it could tell me when my sugar is getting too low or too high, or decide for me what I should eat for every meal one day? How awesome would that be? It could be that little voice that tells me to keep pushing through because otherwise I wouldn't be here anymore. Or maybe it could be that voice that guides me in the right direction when I don't know what to do. It could scold me when im craving cookies and chocolate, and pat me on the back when I devour a whole bundle of celery. It could chime up and be my alarm clock when it was time to take my long acting insulin, and tell you the best place in your stomach to put the needle instead of playing a guessing game everytime. It could tell you how long you have till your sugar goes below 4, or how long of a run you should go on everyday to maintain a healthy body. It would encourage me and tell me to keep going when I take part in the 5km run this march for the Juvenille Diabetes Research Foundation and tell me to educate people about it so that others who are not affected can understand. It could tell me to ignore those who are ignorant towards it and embrace those who are interested and want to learn more to help. It could tell me when there is another type 1 in the room so that we can talk about our lives and how diabetes has helped us to grow into who we are now.

I'd love to sit down and talk to diabetes itself for a day. Theres many questions I'd love to ask as well. Like "why me?". But the fact of the matter is, I already know the answer. I'm diabetic because that is the way God chose to make me. It defines me and it brings out the best in me. So maybe that was Gods idea of giving diabetes a voice. He gave it to me to teach people and share my experiences. To show people that I'm not affraid of it and I can do it no matter what. To reveal the true face behind diabetes and everything it has to offer. Diabetes does have a voice. It has many voices, and many heartbeats. And each one of these voices helps eachother along, because we all have weak days, and we all struggle. Without the many voices of diabetes, everyday would be a weak day, and everyday would be a fight. Supporting eachother is the best possible thing people with Type 1 Diabetes can possibly do for eachother, even if they are half way around the world!

- Jenn :)

New Beginnings, New Experiences

Wow, the holidays have already come and pretty much gone. Christmas is one of my favourite times of the year. All the lights, decorations, seeing family you don't often get to see, and for me, meeting my new boyfriend Evan's family and friends. Its such an exciting time of the year that often times things get pushed to the back of our minds with all the Christmas rush and the talk about the new and upcoming year that diabetes isn't always my first thought. With all the candies out on the table, the shortbread, the gingerbread barn that me and Evan made covered in sprinkles and candy, I sometimes realised that I forgot I was diabetic. Its crazy how fast your sugar levels can fluctuate. As a diabetic, I count carbohydrates so the mountain of mashed potatoes on my plate along with all the stuffing and gravy over my turkey can amount to the same amount of carbs in all the Christmas goodies as well so it was really tough for me this year. It was more of a trial and error thing for my first week off from school. I found that my sugar levels would spike from time to time, especially when it came to Christmas jiggs dinner with my moms side of the family. (For anyone who does not know, Jiggs dinner is like a turkey dinner but with a touch of Newfoundland). I felt pretty spacey for a lot of the time, but after the second Turkey dinner I had, I felt like I had a pretty good handle on it. I am still on the sliding scale for the amount of insulin I take, but I decided for the third turkey dinner I had that I would try carb counting and this seemed to work a lot better for me!

Since this is a new year, I decided that I would try to get a little more involved in diabetes awareness as well as being a lot more on top of my diabetes. As most diabetics, we do forget our insulin from time to time, or were out with friends or in my case, boyfriend, and I lose track of time and its then past the time that I usually take it. I am also brutal for forgetting doctors and specialist appointments when it comes to my diabetes, There are things that you can do to help with this, though. I decided to make an alarm in my phone for the time I take my insulin, and I also picked up a date book to keep track of the insulin that I'm taking and all the upcoming appointments I had. At first, I thought date books were more so for moms and older adults who had so much more going on than I do. My boss Jackie from TSC actually influenced me to get one since they come in some pretty interesting patterns and showed me that they're so easy and a good way of looking at what else you have coming up that week. I enjoy using it too, and it makes life so much more organized.

All in all, I just hope that 2013 is a much better year than 2012. Of course 2012 had its positives too, I pray that 2013 is even better! The last year has been quite tough for me with everything going on with family and personal life stuff, but its nice to be able to sit back and breathe for a bit now. My new boyfriend Evan has had a lot to do with it of course, and he makes me pretty much the happiest girl in the world, but I want this year to be a little easier than last. Its always good for new beginnings and changes. Whether is a new boyfriend and meeting his spectacular family and adjusting to their customs, or maybe you're a newly diabetic like I was just a few months ago. Whatever it is, make it count and make it worth it. Theres always room for improvement and changes when it comes to life itself, and its always good to make changes to help better yourself! My holidays this year were awesome and I couldn't have asked for a better Christmas and New Years, even though my mother teased me by filling my stocking with candy & DEX4 tablets! ;)

- Jenn