Judgement Day

As a Type 1 Diabetic, we get to do some pretty (not so) cool things that someone whose not diabetic wouldn't get to do Whenever we go to the hospital for anything at all, we get (atleast I do anyways, probably not every single diabetic) two vials of blood taken from our arm, and then we have two cap-gases done where they slice open your finger and scrape a really long skinny tube across it to test for oxygen levels. If your a beginnier T1D like me, you have to go to your family doctor every 2 weeks where he looks at how your sugars have been, adjusts your insulin accordingly, and makes sure your circulation and eyesight are up to regular standards. Apart from all this special-but not so awesome- treatment, us diabetics do a lot of "training" and "prepping" for our 3 month Judgement Day.

Every three months, us diabetics have to go for our A1C blood test. To us, its like a do or die situation. In my house, this blood test is a huge thing. It basially shows you if youre a "good" or "bad" diabetic. Its literally like training for a marathon, but with blood sugar levels. The week before is when the doctor tells you that you have to go for this test is like, crunch time. All insulin injections are taken at the EXACT same time everyday, and all food thats being injested is closely watched and triple carb counted. Getting this number to be as low as possible is pretty much our life mission, so anything we can do to affect how low it reads, we do. Its like our hot seat to shine, or fail.

Your judge is yourself, and your co-judges are your doctor, family, and nurse. It feels amazing to hear from your doctor "Wow, you have such amazing blood sugar levels", and from your family "Youre doing so well". Its really not hard to be a "good" diabetic, but it is definitely rewarding in the long run when you score lower on your A1C this time than you did the last. Even though all the needles, and carb counting can be frustrating at times, and it feels like your trapped every now and then, it shows you that you can conquer anything, and that youre doing just fine. Sometimes thats all a T1D needs to hear on a rough day is "you're doing amazing". It reminds us that life goes on, even with diabetes, we just have a few extra things to be cautious of and a couple of blood test every now and then. The A1C can make you or break you, though. When that test result comes back and its higher than your last one, you feel like you got last place in a competition. Even though the results being high are completely out of your control, such as uncontrolable high stress levels for example, you feel extremely angry with yourself, and lose sight of what is actually important. The most any diabetic can do with this is try their best because you yourself know that you did all that you could to keep that number as low as possible.

Today, I went for my A1C and didn't have much of a notice. I woke up to the phone ringing, to find out that me and my Dad had a doctors appointment this morning that we had booked before leaving on our trip to Newfoundland. My doctor had realized its been almost 4 months since I went for my A1C and had me go right after the appointment, so I had a whole 15 minutes to prep for it. I know myself that the first two months was my trial and error period of figuring out my insulin dosages, so of course it will be on the higher side whether I like it or not. But I'm okay with that, because I know my next one will be a lot better, and my "crunch time" will be a little bit more than 15 minutes!

Jenn :)

Diabetes & Children

Juvenille diabetes is diabetes that affects people 18 years of age or younger, and is most commonly Type 1. When I was first diagnosed, I found it extremely difficult and overwhelming to have to begin a totally new life style change. I caught on after a week or so, and it became like second nature. I always wondered though, what would I say to a child if they were to ask me what I was doing while taking my blood glucose level, or even my insulin injections. How would you explain that stabbing myself was actually helping me live without them getting freaked out? Explaining my sickness and how its okay to give myself needles is one challege, but how would a doctor or a parent explain to a 5 year old that they now have to take needles a few times day, and check their blood sugar? I personally couldn't imagine it. As a child, I was terrified of needles. Booster shots were my biggest fear. Of course they hurt a lot more than a 4mm needle in the stomach would, but still though, how would you explain to a little 5 that all of a sudden he or she is really sick and needs to take needles at school. They would either have to learn the sliding scale (so many units based on blood sugar levels), or learn how to count carbs at such a young age. Personally, I envy any parent that has had to teach their child things like this. As a 17 year old, I thought school was the hardest part when it came to my insulin because a lot of the time my meals were never at the exact time every day, but I couldnt imagine a little 5 year old giving insulin to themselves at school on their own, but it happens, everyday somewhere in the world. Diabetes effects those who we never ever thought it would. It is a silent disease that you cant see. Even though someone may look perfectly healthy apart from maybe bruises on their stomach, you would never be able to pick out diabetics from a crowd. Even the pump is usually well hidden and unnoticeable if a person doesnt want it to be seen.

Many people say to me on a daily basis "Oh youre way too young to have diabetes", but actually, some people are born with it. I think being born with it would be one of the hardest things because a child would have to grow up not knowing what it is like to have a pancreas that works, and not to have to worry about blood sugar or insulin. Believe it or not, diabetes is a big responsibility, and it absolutely amazes me that young children have such an amazing handle on it (with guidance from their parents of course). Its not an easy thing to stab yourself with a needle everyday a few times a day, and often times its a mind over matter sort of thing, but children so young can do it, some even better than me. Its phenomenal. There are a lot of factors that go along with diabetes, some I dont even have mastered yet, so I cant imagine a 5 year old that doesn't really understand whats going on to be able to, but they do. Our diabetic technology has definitely evolved and made it a lot easier than it used to be just 20 years ago when you had to fill a needle yourself, and I dont believe pumps were out yet. When people say that children dont understand something, theyre 100% wrong, and diabetes proves it. For such a complex disease, hundreds of thousands of children in Canada can understand it and take care of themselves, they just need a little extra explaining and a little extra guidance. Children are a lot smarter than you think, especially those with Type 1 Diabetes, but is their an easier way for them to understand? Ive been wondering about this for a while, and came to think: What if their was a diabetic doll, that you could give insulin to, check her blood sugar, or even change pump sites on? Maybe the perfect, pretty, slim barbie doll that looked flawless on the outside, but had a disease on the inside? Younger children with type 1 diabetes I'm sure would have a very difficult time explaining to other children in their class why they have a pump atatched to their hip, or why they have to give injections, and perhaps a doll of some kind, or a barbie would help with that. I believe it would be easier to explain to a child that they have diabetes using a prop of some sort such as a doll, of for them to explain to their classmates why they inject themselves every day. Apart from a little girl explaining to her classmates what it is exactly that she has using a doll, Im sure she would love telling all her diabetic secrets and telling the doll things she wouldnt tell anyone else, just because the doll is exactly like her. Like an imaginary friend, thats diabetic and not so imaginary.

Jenn :)

Airplane Story

On the way home from Newfoundland, something happened on the airplane that really upset me, but I figured I'd just let it go and forget about it because clearly with what happened, the other person was quite ignorant and theres no point to letting it bother me. I got to thinking today though, and I thought Id share the story on my blog since it was a part of my life's journey with diabetes.

On the way to the airport to get the plane home to Ontario, my aunt's tire got a flat and we were late getting to the airport. Once we got through security we borded the plane right away because the plane was waiting for us. I sat down in my seat after putting my carry on luggage above in the storage bins, and got myself situated. I looked at the teenage boy and the mid 20s woman (they were brother and sister), said hello like most people do on the plane since youll be sitting beside eachother for a while, and was extremely taken back when the boy didnt even look at me, and the woman just looked at me, rolled her eyes, and looked away. At this point I knew it was going to be a long 3 and a half hours. Amongst all the rush in the morning, I had forgotten to take my long acting insulin, so once we were up in the air and the seat belt sign was off, I would take it even though it was a little bit off schedule. Once we were up in the air, I checked my sugar since it was going to be a while before my next meal, and as I was doing this, the woman beside me kept looking over, whispering to the guy beside her repeatedly, which didnt bother me, I dont particularly care because some people have never seen or experienced the routines of a diabetic in public before, especially a type 1. It was on the lower side, so I figured Id wait till after I ate to do my long acting just to be safe. When the food came along, It wasn't exactly the greatest thing I had ever tasted, but I knew it was definitely on the high carb side. A pizza roll, stuffed with sweet tomato sauce and A LOT of cheese, and something was telling me the cheese wasn't low fat. After eating it, I could feel my sugar rising quite high, so I checked it and sure enough it was at 12.3, Im on the sliding scale still, so I figured I'd take a smaller dose of rapid  insulin than I normally would (For this I went with 3 units). I got out my needles, both the rapid and the slow release, and began prepping them for injection. The woman kept looking over at the needles, looking at me, then rolling her eyes again. When i saw her do this around the 5th time, I was feeling a little on edge but i put aside an uneducated woman for my health anyways, because I knew what was worth more. I did my rapid injection first, and just as i lifted up my shirt to get ready for it, the woman looked over, looked at the guy beside her, and loudly said "Thats gross!". I just chuckled to myself, and the guy who was sitting across from aisle from me looked at me like he felt bad for me because of this woman. I found the spot for injection, and slowly, just incase of sudden turbulencem, put the needle in my stomach and injected the rapid insulin. Just as I was doing this, the woman beside me then looked at me square in eye and with her nasty attitude said "That's the grossest thing I've ever seen. Can't you do that somewhere else?". Before i could even comprehend what she said, she put her earphones in and closed her eyes. At first I thought this was some kind of joke and she was gonna wake up and say "Oh sorry, I was just kidding" and laugh, but no. She was dead serious. I couldn't believe it, and I actually shed a few tears because I was so upset. The guy across the aisle looked at me and told me it wasn't worth the tears and that she wasa obviously uneducated. He seemed like he had had experience with a type one before, and told me to go ahead and do the second needle. I really didnt care at all what the woman beside me was going to say about my second needle. The line for the bathrooms were always long, the bathrooms were tiny and I assumed would be hard to inject in, and I had waited long enough for my long acting. As I put the second injection in my stomach, the boy on the inside nudged the woman with his elbow and she woke up, looked at me, and loudly said "Wow, i cant wait to get off this plane". By this point I just started laughing hard, as well as the guy across the aisle, and shook my head at her. I knew this woman was probably one of the most ignorant people I had ever met and totally wasn't worth me getting upset over.

I'm proud that I am diabetic, I dont let it get me down or stop me from doing anything. I shouldnt have to wait in a line for 20 minutes on an airplane just to do a needle because some girl doesn't like it. Ive done them at tables in restaurants, the middle of a kitchen at my friends house, and no one else seemed to care. This woman could have just asked me if it bothered her that much, but because she decided to be immature about it, I have no respect for her and did what I had to do. When it comes to people like this, I ignore them. You cant let them bring you down because theyre not worh it. Do what you have to do and smile about it. Uneducated people will get over it, and they'll tell the story to someone else, that someone else will make them feel bad and say "they were probably diabetic". I believe in karma, and karma will balance out. I know my next plane ride, I'll probably tell the person i'm sitting beside that im a T1D, if they decide theyre going to say hello back. If not, screw em!

Jenn :)

Forever, Daddy's Little Princess <3

Yesterday was my dad's birthday, and I got a little bit busy spending the day with him to write this, but either way, I think he deserves it. Ever since I was little, Ive always been a daddy's girl. Hes always been the person to run to when things got scary, like when the water cooler used to make terrifying noises at night like someone was trying to break in, Id run to his room and cuddle up and fall asleep between him and mom. Even though I kicked like crazy in my sleep when i was little, he always let me sleep on his side of the bed. My has always been someone to work his butt off. Whether it was working on something for himself or someone else, he was always out in the shop. One day I was watching TV, and he walked in feeling a little bit sick and didn't go outside to work on anything for most of the day. Being only 5 years old, I still noticed that this was out of the ordinary. Since i was a very curious kid, I of course asked him what was wrong. For some reason, I've remembered exactly what he said, exactly where I was, and exactly which episode of Arthur i was watching when my dad told me that he was sick and that he had a disease called diabetes. Only 4 months ago, did I realise that me remembering everything about it must have been a sign. Although he has type 2 and I have type 1, I knew for a fact that there was a reason why I could vividly see  through the eyes of myself at the age of five, that 30 second long conversation so well inside my head at such a young age 

I know diabetes has been quite the battle for him lately, especially with the stress on his bodies of his other health issues, but regardless of all that, hes definitely been my biggest supporter since the day I went to the doctor and found out I had Type One Diabetes. Hes taught me a lot about diabetes, and before I even went to see the diabetic specialist and the nutritionist, I already knew a lot of what they were telling me from what my dad had previously told me the day before. Even though hes sick and cant really do too much, I still respect what he does for my family more than anything. I know if anything ever happened when finances and health benefits became an issue, he'd sell the clothes off his back if it meant that I'd be getting my insulin and three square meals a day. I'm so glad that my dads been there to help me out every step of the way with diabetes. When i was diagnosed, I at least had an idea of what it was instead of it all being completely new to me and not having any idea what anything is. Insulin was the only new thing that neither of us really knew much about except that it helps to bring down blood sugar levels, but we were both willing to learn about it if it meant saving my life. Everyday I'm so thankful for a dad as helpful as mine, and I'm so happy to be blessed with such an amazing support system, even if he does pronounce diabetes as "Di-a-beet-us" and it irritates the hell out of me. So happy one day belated birthday daddy, I hope your day was amazing because you deserve nothing less than the best. Regardless of whether both your kids are sick, I speak for both of me and Tyler, your the best daddy either of us could have, and we love you more than anything, & even when I'm married someday with kids, I'll always be your little princess <3

Jenn

"You Have Diabetes.. But You Dont Look Fat?"

Ahhhh, Im sure we are all familiar with those people who think they know everything. Although we try our best to just let these people think what they want, when it comes to my diabetes, I cant help but correct some people on the things they say about diabetes.

When I was first diagnosed, the most frequent response to someone finding out was "But you're too young to have diabetes". This bothered me the most because they obviously thought I had the kind that can be caused from eating unhealthy (Type 2 Diabetes). I had to explain to them that people can actually be born with Type 1 diabetes and that I am amongst hundrends of thousands of teens and children that are insulin dependant. It is actually shocking how many people think the two are the same or get them mixed up. I personally and someone who can openly talk about my diabetes because I know there are a lot of people who could ask me a hundren questions on the spot because theyre curious, so I dont mind informing them, especially those who are confused between the two.

For anyone reading this who is trying to make sense of diabetes, the first thing that I cant stress enough is that Type 1 diabetes has no cause besides that it can be hereditary if it runs in the family. There are quite a few different branches of diabetes, but Type 1 and Type 2 are the most common. However, I cannot stress enough, that T1D and T2D are completely different! Yes, they both require you to check your blood sugar levels, and yes, you do need to accomodate sugary things like soda and ask for diet instead, or even skip the donut at Tim Hortons, but they work completely the opposite. But what is the difference? Type 1 diabetics are required to take insulin, no matter what, for the rest of their lives because theyre pancreas, for some unknown reason in most people, has stopped producing insulin, which turns sugar into energy for the body to use. Type 2 on the other hand, is when the body produces kind of like an immunity to its own insulin, often times from an unhealthy diet, or even hereditary as well. Basically, the body requires more insulin that usual to convert the sugar into energy due to the immunity to it. Two totally different things are going on inside the body between the two types of diabetes.

Its really frustrating for a type 1 diabetic to hear someone say "Shes diabetic because she ate too much sugar!". This is 100% wrong. Even in a type 2 diabetics life, that may not be the case. Just because we have to watch what we eat, doesnt mean that we have Type 1 because we didnt watch it so closely before. Development of Type 1 Diabetes has absolutely nothing to do with how we ate prior to our diagnosis. When people say stuff like this, it makes us feel like its our own fault that we have Type 1 Diabetes, and its not. A lot of us are already self concious about the fact that we have it and the things we go through on a day to day basis, so its not fair to make us feel like we did this to ourselves and blame it on an unhealthy life style before we were diagnosed just because you googled diabetes on the internet and got a general result without further researching it. The type of diabetes I have now is probably not the same as the diabetes your grandfather was just recently diagnosed with in which he takes just pills for, so please dont treat me like they are. On the other hand, diabetes regardless of the type is still a serious matter, and both type 1s and type 2s should be respected for what their life has thrown at them.

Jenn :)

To Love A Diabetic <3

I personally did not write this, but I came across it today and thought it was incredible and I just had to share it. Credit goes to the person who actually wrote this, not me.

To love a diabetic is to be a doctor. It means helping her to remember her medications. It means driving her for an hour to the only 24 hour pharmacy when she’s gotten the flu and can’t take the Nyquil in the refrigerator. Or driving her to the hospital when the simple flu turns into bronchitis and her blood turns acidic. To love a diabetic is to be patient. It means knowing that some days she won’t feel good for no visible reason. It means canceling long term plans when suddenly she doesn’t feel well enough to go on a trip. Or waiting to go to bed while she injects her bedtime insulin. To love a diabetic is to be a priest. It means consoling her when she’s tired and feels like she can’t do it anymore. It means listening and not passing judgment while she tries to figure out her new dosages and makes mistakes. Or, during those tough times, listening to her burial wishes – just in case. To love a diabetic is to be a guardian. It means standing up for her when strangers accuse her of being a drug addict. It means discreetly asking her friends to keep an eye on her when she’s testing new medications and doesn’t know the reactions to her body yet. Or staying up with her through the night because she’s too afraid to fall asleep where a coma can find her. To love a diabetic is to not be superficial. It means seeing her bruises as beauty marks. It means caressing the scars across her stomach. Or kissing her dry lips when she is hooked to IVs. To love a diabetic is to be understanding. It means knowing that she doesn’t mean to get hot tempered when her blood sugars are too high. It means listening to her when she asks to start a family soon. Or donating time and DNA to sciences you don’t fully understand just because she asks you to and because it promises to cure her. To love a diabetic is to be smart. It means researching new medications even though she never asks you to. It means listening to her explain her new findings in terms that aren’t typical language. Or making her smile when she desperately wants to scream. To love a diabetic is to be selfless. It means going to a restaurant based off the carbohydrates menu instead of the atmosphere. It means going without dinner when money is tight because you can buy her medication with it instead. Or testing your blood sugar on her new meter to make sure it’s working properly even though you’re terrified of needles. To love a diabetic is to be brave. It means keeping your chin up while she talks about those scary moments. It means not allowing her medical mistakes to colour your relationship with her emotionally. Or keeping positive spirits even though all of the websites and gatherings tell you she won’t statistically make it past her 40s. To love a diabetic is not easy. It means putting her medical needs before any other finances. It means worrying every moment that she is properly cared for even when you can’t see her. And it means trusting her life in the hands of so many doctors who don’t understand the full complexities of the disease. Thank you for loving a diabetic.


(Source: boing345brooke)
found here: http://unemployedpancreas.tumblr.com/

Diabète dans St.Pierre

Traveling with diabetes as we all know is hard to manage while on vacation. Ive been in Newfoundland for the last week and I ready have had a few issues with it. Forgetting to take insulin is probably the worst thing when it comes down to it. Off setting insulin is super easy for me because if I go out with my cousins to the bar for example, I lose track of time and forget all together, or ill expect to leave at 12 and not get home till 3am. Theres not much point in taking it if I have to be up for 9 to leave for a days adventure and theres no insulin working for me for my breakfast and ill get a low sugar between meals.

Meals and eating out can be rough to judge though, especially when eating at restaurants. I have to be really careful because you have to eat on your regular schedule, and finding one can be a challenge down in St.Johns that isn't fast food. When ordering, you have to try to choose something healthy and with the least amount of carbs. I don't have a pump so I don't have to worry about it as much as someone who is, but I try to keep my carbs at mealtime between 50 and 70 depending on my activity. Salads are usually my first choice with a vinegrette, NOT a cream dressing. Cream dressings are loaded with hidden carbs and fat content. I never get an appetizer though because I find it makes my sugar levels skyrocket whether I get a salad vs pasta. I also never get juice or pop, always water or milk. If there no decent salads to order as my main course, I usually go for a sandwich on whole wheat with light mayonnaise. Most common restaurants serve sandwiches and wraps with french fries which are also empty carbs that are hard to burn off. Always ask for side order options though! A lot of the time you can get a baked potatoe which is better than fries, a salad, chili, soup, or if you really want fries, most places serve sweet potatoe fries, although they usually cost about a dollar extra and in my opinion it tastes better than regular fries. I try to hold off on dessert as its usually something made of chocolate and loaded with sugar, unless its a buffet and i can get small portions, or even just fruit. I find buffets to be the worst though because you feel like you want to get what you paid for, so you tend to over eat.

Low blood sugar isn't hard to experience while on vacation either. Here in Newfoundland, Im lucky that I have so much family here and we own our own workshop to store vehicles for when we come down every year. Regardless of our access to vehicles though, walking around visiting tourist sites, or even visiting family for an hour or two can really bring down my sugars quickly. I went downtown St.Johns one day with my cousin and his friend and noticed that walking everywhere and going in and out of stores really made my sugar low and I'd have to stop for something quick. Visiting family was brutal for my sugars when I was visiting younger cousins because i would be running around and chasing them, playing games, and the next thing I knew I was shaky and sweaty. Here i was thinking it was just from running around, but sure enough I checked my sugar and it was 2.7 so you really have to be careful.
Yesterday my mom, my aunt, my cousin and myself decided to go to a french island that belongs to France thats 25km from the south west coast of Newfoundland. We went over by boat which was a two hour long ride, and thank goodness we brought snacks because I could tell after two hours that my sugar was low, so I had an apple. St.Pierre is definitely not a place designed for people with type one diabetes, however. Walking is the main source of transportation, which is good exercise but can really mess up blood sugar levels when you walk for too long as they can drop quick. This happened to me once while I was there during my one night stay, but there were no places with quick sugar, or fast food places (chuck wagons) that took Canadian, so we had to walk all the way back to the hotel where I could eat ravioli from a can to tie me over. It wasn't the best but it got me through. A few hours later we decided to stop for a later lunch/early dinner. The restaurants were nice, but the food selection was terrible and only had menus with lunch food on it that consisted of about 6 things. Anyways, I ordered chicken caesar salad, took my sugar, and 5 units of insulin as i am on the sliding scale. When my food came out. I knew right off the bat that I shouldn't have taken any insulin as the portion size looked like it was for a toddler. So I ate my meal and we continued our day, but of course an hour later my sugar was low again so we went back to the hotel for a snack and freshened up. I had a snack, went out for dinner a bit later and everything seemed fine. I went back to the hotel and felt high sugar symptoms. I checked it and it was 15! My assumption is that my bread at dinner wasn't whole wheat as they don't have much selection or even food for that matter, and my pop was not diet. The language barrier could have effected this too, though. St.Pierre was not what I thought it would be and it wasn't all that nice of a place, but I enjoyed the boat ride too and from the island anyways, apart from low sugar episodes.  

My biggest concern while in St.Pierre was "what if something weird were to happen with my insulin and i needed medical attention?". It never had a very large hospital, although one was being built, but i only knew that from other people. I did not know where the hospital was located, if they had an emergency unit like an ambulance or how to even get ahold of them as there were no phone numbers, amd they were weird numbers anyways. Three sets of two numbers was considered a phone number. I also never seen a pharmacy! It made me wonder how these people got their prescriptions. A boat is sent from france to Nova Scotia, and from Nova Scotia to StPierre once a week with supplies but what about those who need something as soon as possible? It made me wonder if there was anyone on the island who was a T1D and how they lived with it. The whole island definitely doesn't cater to people with type 1, so it really made me wonder how they do it! Over all, it was a neat experience!

Jenn :)

Life's a Field, and I'm Just Ploughing Through <3

When I was first diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes, I thought people were going to look at me differently because I had to take needles up to 6 times a day, and constantly check my blood sugar levels. To be one hundred percent, I thought it was going to be one of my biggest flaws apart from everything else teenage girls pick apart about themselves. As a 17 year old girl, Im at the point in life where zits, my hair, my makeup, my nails, my tan, my phone, facebook and friends are a major part of my life, but not as much as they used to be anymore..
Since being diagnosed with T1D, I believe it has entirely changed my life as well as my outlook on it. No matter where you are, there are always going to be people who have something rude they feel they have to say to hide their own insecurities, and worrying about what these people would say about me used to stress me out to the max, but diabetes has shown me that there are so many other things in life to worry about then some stupid comment judgmental girls have to say. It just reflects who they really are. My motto is simply "You barely know me, so don't act like you know my story". Basically this just means that yeah, everyone has a past, whether they did some good or bad things, but if you barely know someone, odds are you only know either the good OR the bad, so don't judge me based on one over the other. Diabetes has definitely changed me for the better. I cherish every minute of my life whether Im out playing soccer, working at TSC, or enjoying the country life while ripping around on quads, dirtbikes or trucks. I wont ever let diabetes control my life, nor will i let negative people have a stressful impact on it either. You have to take charge of your life because only you know what is best for yourself and keeps you the healthiest. Little things in life like high school drama are the least of my concerns anymore. I live for me and nobody else. As long as I'm healthy and living I can proudly say: "I have diabetes. Diabetes does't have me!"

Jenn :)