Cowgirls Don't Cry ; Ride, Baby, Ride !

Ive often wondered, why is the life of a diabetic viewed so differently than someone who does not have it? Why would it matter if i was a country girl, with or without diabetes? Does it really make any difference at all? As long as I take my insulin, eat properly and exercise often, I should have the same blood sugar as everyone else, right? My brain should be able to aprehend just as much as a regular grade 12 student if I keep all these things inline and sleep on a pretty decent schedule. I dont understant it. Why do some people feel the need to comment on a disease someone has? Does it make them feel better about themself that they dont have to take needles, get blood taken every 3 months, experiment with different insulins, or feel like shit just because their diabetes decides to act out from time to time. Some people really dont understand how diabetes affects an individual, and how their words do actually affect my blood sugar. Since being diagnosed in May of 2012, I am absolutely appauled at how many disrespectful people there are. I mean, in all honesty, society is pretty harsh and judging to begin with, but to have the nerve to degrade someone because they have a chronic disease that they had no control over getting is absolutely disgusting.

Since my blog is based soley on my person experiences, I wanted to touch on the topic of being spoken down to due to being diabetic. Im sure I'm not the only Type 1 to ever experience this, but it certainly is not a feeling I enjoy to see people saying rude things about being diabetic. What is our society seriously coming to? Are we going to be rude to people with cancer, too? I write a blog, yes. I volunteer for the Canadian Diabetes Association, yes. I raise money for the Juvenille Diabetes Research Foundation by doing the walk for diabetes, yes. But somehow people still feel the need to say things on the internet to try and degrade me and make me feel bad? Ha. I laugh at every single one of you who have ever done this to either me, or another type one diabetic. You're absolutely pathetic. You are the kind of people who keep me going even more, and push me to take my insulin to keep on living, and eat healthy and exercise. Youre the ones I like to prove wrong, and push me want to make even more of a difference in the world. So what? I write a blog, and  you know what? I enjoy every second of it. The feed back I get from my posts gives me a feeling of accomplishment I cant even begin to explain. Ive been told I am an inspiration a lot more times than anyone has or will ever talk down about me because of my diabetes. Im able to joke around with my diabetes when it comes to sugery foods, or subjects people dont often like to touch on because of it and I love that Im able to do that. Someone wants to eat a cookie or doughnut around me? GIVE 'ER ! Ill eat my carrot sticks or whatever. Actually no, Ill have a bite of that cookie. And you know what? Id deserve it from putting up with so much crap from ineducated people in this world who are so ignorant to diabetes. I push through everything, no matter what. You want to talk rudely about me and my diabetes? Okay, walk a day in my shoes then. You wouldn't last past breakfast. I have "Strength" tattooed on my ribs for a reason, and a tattoo on my hip to recognize that I am diabetic and proud of it. So say what you want, I wont be the one actually getting laughed at. The fact that anyone even has the nerve to speak badly about a chronic disease is pathetic enough, but to do it to someone you actually know? Thats a whole new level of disrespect and ignorance. I truely believe in Karma and that what comes around goes around.  

Good Morning, Sunshine!

Diabetes is one of those things that I find people are scared of. I was in the washroom doing my insulin at work one night and a lady who appeared to be about 40 walked in and right off the bat, knew what I was doing. She proceeded to tell me that needles terrify her and that if she were a type 1 diabetic, she would never take them. I explained to her that I almost died as a result of not knowing I was diabetic and ignoring my symptoms, just the same as if I were to abrupty stop taking my insulin. Intrigued by what I was doing, she continued to ask me how I can just stab myself in the stomach and be okay with it. Lately, Ive had a lot of people ask me about my diabetes and how I manage it from day to day. Instead of explaing over and over, and telling people that I just take my insulin when I need to as well as scheduled meal times, I wanted to do an actual walk through a particular part of my day, the morning, so people can feel and experience in their minds what its like to walk in my shoes.

Your alarm goes off and you wake up, Its 6:45 in the morning and you're exhausted. You hear your favourite song "Rain is a Good Thing" by Luke Bryan blarring in your ear from your phone and you roll over and turn it off without realizing. You sleep for another few minutes, and then your 7:00AM alarm goes off, this time, to "If I Die Young" by The Band Perry. You have a few alarms set because as a diabetic, you can be so tired for no reason and end up sleeping through the first alarm. The sun peeks through your blinds and engulfs your room as its own way of saying "Good Morning", so you get out of bed and automatically feel your entire body quivering from your nose to your toes. Your arms feel the worst, like you're sitting in a vibrating chair and cant change the settings, so you immediately sit up and reach for your glucose meter beside your emergency night time candies, crackers and sugar packed juice which was set out just incase of a low blood sugar spell in the middle of the night. You unzip the pouch, insert a test strip into the meter until it turns on and promptly asks you for a drop of blood. You begin to prepare your lancet. You pull the cap off, take out the colourful needle and walk down the hallway to throw it into the sharps container thats in the corner of your dining room cabinet that has its own designated spot for all of your diabetic belongings and "overstock". You add a different colour needle to the little lancet device, and put the cap back on, making sure that the lowest puncture setting is set for your girly little fingers. You massage your hands and fingers to get the blood pumping through them, and then push the hole in the cap of the lancet against your pinky finger the best that you can, and press the little unpleasant blue button to release the needle quickly, and almost painlessly, into your finger. It stings a little, kind of like an elastic being pulled on, and let go of onto the end of your finger, but it immediately goes away. The blood starts to slowly come out of your finger and you grab your meter and catch the blood with the little test strip. Your blood sugar reads 4.0 on the dot and you know automatically that any lower could cause you some trouble. You walk over to the kitchen, pour yourself a bowl of Kellogs Vanilla cereal and add 1% milk. You quickly glimpse at the nutrition facts to jog your memory as to how many carbs you are taking in, and savour every last bite because the vanilla has such a sweet taste that you do not get to taste to often in the day. You grab your glucose metre again and check your blood sugar. Its 6,5. Not too bad for just eating. Its 7:30 now and its time to take your long acting insulin, Novalin, the slow release insulin that keeps your sugar down throughout the day so you don't get random sugar high peaks. You walk back over to the cabinet, reach into the box of 100 needles, and grab one. You pull the thin, green sticker off the top of your 4mm needle case, and carefully twist it onto nova nordisk insulin pen so that you don't bend the needle even in the smallest way. You dial the pen to 27 units and you lift up your shirt and feel around for the most comfortable spot thats not too tender. You pull off the little clear cap that keeps the needle safe from any kind of pressure, then carefully take off the slender green one that barely covers the actual needle itself. You count to three, and fast, but with an extreme amount of caution and particular angling, pierce the skin of your stomach with the needle that is no longer in length than the nail of your pinky finger. You slide your hand up slowly to the top so that your thumb is pressing the opposite end, and push the little cap so the insulin is released inside of you. At first, your stomach feels warm where the insulin is spreading, then the insertion site of the needle starts to sting a bit. Once the cap is fully pushed in, you leave the needle inside your stomach for about 10 seconds so that you receive every drop. You pull it out at the exact angle you inserted it in so that there is minimal bleeding, and immediately the tiny little hole starts to sting a bit and a clear liquid, the insulin, secretes a small amount from it. You dance around, jump, skip, whatever you need to do, and wait for the insulin to be disributed to other parts of your stomach and  be less dense in one particular spot since its more of a throbbing pain now. You put the clear cap back on the needle and twist it off and throw it into the sharps container along with all your lancets. Its 7:40 and the bus comes in 15 minutes. You head to your room, plug in your straightener and throw on your uniform as it heats up. You start to straighten your hair that you washed in the shower the night before, being careful not to burn yourself as diabetics have a very difficult time healing from burns. Its then 7:50 and you hear the tractors and combines outside your window more vividly, and you know the everyone is starting to begin their day as well. You grab your things, throw on your backpack, and put your glucose meter and insulin pen/needles in your giant purse and head back to the kitchen. You woke up with a lower than normal blood sugar level this morning so you pack a few granola bars from the snack cupboard just incase your sugar drops before you get the chance to eat your lunch. You run out the door now that its 7:53, barely having enough time to put on your shoes, and jump on the bus where you finish off getting ready by popping in those head phones and listening to the knew Tyler Farr & Chase Rice songs you just downloaded the previous night to drown out the sound of screaming kindergarteners and obnoxious preteens, and finish doing your makeup. You then continue about your day being a normal teen who just so happens to have to stab themselves in the stomach or finger a few times a day. No big deal, right?

Of course, my mornings aren't always as perfect as this. There are days where I forget to take my slow release insulin and end up taking it at school, or wake up late and have to go toschool with low blood sugar because I dont have time to eat. Every single day is different. My afternoons and nights are not the same as my mornings, as thats when I'm the most active. The only thing thats really changes is my low blood sugars and my need to drop what I'm doing to grab a quick snack and check my blood sugar. Exercising can be a little challenging from time to time, which I will touch a little bit more on in a different blog post, but it definitely can lead to a low blood sugar that you can't notice. Besides episodes like this, my diabetes is managed just about the same way throughout the day. Its easy, just takes a lot of getting used to, a lot of time, and definitley routine and strength. I never once thought in a million years I would be giving myself needles on a daily basis, especially since they were my biggest fear as a child, but here I am now. Diabetes isn't changing your entire lifesyle for it, its making it your lifestyle. Its not hard, just takes a lot of practice and support from those around you!

Jenn :)

I'll Listen Till Your Tears Give Out

Not too often do I have days where I feel weak because for the most part, I know what makes me feel better. I've always been the strong one when it comes to my friends and I barely ever lean on anyone else when Im going through something since I'm pretty independant. Just today, I had one of those days where I felt like I couldn't be strong for everyoneone else anymore and had to be strong for myself for once. Lately there has been quite a lot going on in my life with friends and others that sometimes feels like a movie, and every now and then we all break down. Stress, as I mention often, is one of those things that Type 1 Diabetics really cannot afford since it does mess with our blood sugar and makes us feel even worse in the end, so when it comes to days like today, I look to a note that I wrote on facebook a few years ago when I was feeling like this and thought it would be an interesting blog post since I know a lot of people could relate to it.

Please note though, that there is swearing in this note. Theres nothing that anyone should take offense to, but I wrote exactly how I felt at the time and it helped to get my point and opinion across so please do not get upset about the odd "f-bomb" here and there.

"It all starts out so easy. Everything is handed to you on a plate, and you dont really think twice about a lot of things. The world seems so amazing in the eyes of a 5 year old, or even the eyes of a 12 year old. Life just passes you by, and everything is so simple. The hardest part about your day is getting out of bed, because your just so warm, and just so comfortable. Or maybe the fact that recess is over, because you want to keep playing those easy, childish games with your friends. Days, months, years go by and you barely even notice. But then one day, you just see it. You see how the world really works. Those friends you were playing with just the other day, yeah .. the ones you say your going to be best friends with forever? Well guess what, you're not going to be best friends forever. Forever does not exist. At some point, things do end. You may be in a car, driving for days and days, and you've been sitting in that same seat, and it feels like you're seeing the same things over and over, and it feels like you're never going to get there, but eventually you do. Your car ride ends and its all over. You'll never experience the same car ride again.. Or maybe someone tells you theyre going to be there for you forever, but guess what. theyre not. They'll definitely be there for you as much as they can, but theyre only going to be there for so long. People leave. They walk out of your life before you really get the chance to know them. Sure you may have been friends for since grade 5, since the very first day a your new school, but then they go to a different high school as you. You talk and stay in touch, but you never really hang out. Then everthing just stops. No texts, no phone calls, no messages, no nothing. You knew them for four years, but what the hell is 4 years out of like, the 70 that you're going to live? Did you really know them?  All thats left of them is the memories you made, the memories you cannot change. Thats the problem with people these days. They just walk out, they leave, and you're left to sit there and think "what the fuck did i do wrong"? Well, nothing of course. Nothings forever. Shit happens and people change. Some people change for the best, and some people change for the worst, and unfortunately thats also whats wrong with people in todays society. Barely anyone changes for the good anymore. Everyones too busy caught up with their looks, and their own problems. From the layers and layers of coverup and bronzer, to the fake eyelashes and nails, to working out for hours on end every night because they think they're fat, or theyre muscles arent big enough, to just not giving a fuck about anyone else but themselves. People are so selfish these days that they dont give a shit about your problems when you talk about them, and most people are happy that you have them so that theyre not the only ones going through shit. But between getting caught up in your own problems, and seeing so many fake people, you then find that one special thing, that ONE SPECIAL thing that you would give anything for. Youd take a bullet for; you'd fucking die for. Your life long dream.. but its so far out of reach that it feels like you have to swim across the ocean to get to it. So you give up. you just give up on everything because its too hard. Thats another thing people do way too much anymore. They give up. When things get hard they cant bare to face their problems and they run away like a little bitch. They wish they were young again, when things were easy.. but wishing isnt going to change anything. You have to be your own change. But people never see that. They expect everything to be handed to them on a silver fucking platter, or they try to escape. They turn to drugs, or they turn to alchohol, but thats only a temporary escape. Everythings still the same once you go back to your normal state of mind. Nothings ever simple, but an escape route is never the answer. You have to learn to fix things, to change things, because nothing is forever. NOTHING IS FUCKING FOREVER. You think you have everything, and in a split second it could all be gone. People take life for granted way to much. and thats the problem. Life can change in a moment, a heartbeat, or a flash .. and barely anyone ever sees that anymore. Were soo lucky to be alive, to have a beating heart, to be able to love, and to be able to live, that we get too caught up with lifes problems to see the things we should be out enjoying. You still have your whole life ahead of you so take a step back and look at yourself. REALLY look at yourself. Your a human, and you own your own life. You only have one, so live it, and live it BIG. Fall in love, fall out of love, and repeat until you know what its like to really love someone and be loved back. Dont hate everyone because of the things people have said or done to you. Dont get in the way of things you cant control because shit happens and people change, even though its a hard concept to understand, but you have to, and you learn to, otherwise your life isnt going to be much of anything except dwelling on your past and things you'll never be able to change. So live for something and live for yourself. Imagine. Inspire. Believe. Just let go of all the bullshit in your life, and all the useless things youd be better without and just live. Be something one day, make something of yourself and achieve your goals if its the last thing you do. Live your life and look back with no regrets ♥"

~ Jennifer O'Leary

January 27th 2011

Everytime Im upset and in a bad mood, I reread this over and over to remind myself that nothing is forever and that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. And of course, Life never throws something at you that you cannot handle. I try my best to push through everything bad that comes my way, and I even have "Strength" tattooed on me to remind myself to be strong and never to give up. Being diabetic, there are always going to be those days where you think you can't do it anymore and just wish you didn't have to stab your stomach with insulin needles and pierce your fingers with lancets to check your blood sugar, but its important to look at the positive things in life over the negatives, and remember that you can get through anything, you just have to find your purpose in life and reasons to be the happiest you can possibly be!

Jenn :)

"Spagetti"

Wow, Its been a long time since I last wrote a blog post! Cannot believe how crazy stressful Grade12 can be at times and how little time I have for anything. The last few days I have been really trying my best to find time for my blog since it has been a while, and thank God. Writing my blog is one of my biggest stress relievers. Anyways, its now November and as many of you fellow diabetics know, Novemeber is the month of Diabetes - November 1st is specifically for us Juvenille Diabetics! I just wanted to touch a little bit on what this means to me and how I've held my type 1 Diabetes close to my heart.

This has been my first year with Type 1 Diabetes. Actually, November 1st marks my 6 month anniversary of my diagnosis date, and it sure has been an interesting last 6 months, thats for sure. Being diabetic has definitely changed my outlook on life and how I view things that come my way. I believe that everything definitely happens for a reason and life never throws something at you that you cannot handle. I can say honestly that I treat people with more respect than I ever have before because you never know what someone could be going through and it sucks to have more stress than you need, especially as a type 1 diabetic. Between doctors appointments, A1C's, constant up and down blood sugar, and worrying about if you have emergency sugar incase it drops is enough stress, but I couldn't imagine the amount of stress someone who has cancer, or is a relative of someone battling cancer would be going through. Or even just people who have issues at home with maybe their parents being divored. Im sure no kind of tough situation has good stress, but nonetheless, theres no reason for extra.

Since being diagnosed, I also have had to opportunity to experience a lot of new things that I wouldnt have if I wasn't diabetic. I decided to do the JDRF walk for Juvenille Diabetes back in June and my team raised $500.00! It was my first time doing this event and will for sure be attending with even more team members next year! I also met Kayla Brown at the walk in brantford and for those of you who do not know Kayla, she is right on board with Type 1 Diabetes and has done many things regarding it, and was even interviewed on citytv London a few days ago! She write a diabetes blog as well (kaylaslifenotes.blogspot.com) and has for sure helped me from time to time when I needed it. I learned a lot of the things I needed to back in May by reading her blog and I'm so glad that diabetes has such an awesome support system!

Diabetes can be hard to live with sometimes but it definitely is manageable. You just have to keep going and remember that everything happens for a reason and life never throws something at you that you cannot handle. The best thing I ever did to help me came from my brother's girlfriend Sam Denney actually. When she was riding horses and got scared, she would count to three and say "Spagetti", so everytime I do my insulin now, I count to three and say "Spagetti" Works everytime! Anyways, as you go about your days in November, please recognize all of the hard working diabetics out there, yes, type 2 as well, and give them a pat on the back! They deserve it! Happy Diabetes Awareness Month everyone, and never forget, we can Dia-beat this ! :)

Jenn :)

My Support System, My Stewy <3

Every now and then it's good to just sit back and reflect on your life, especially as a diabetic. Reflecting about life and all the good and the bad can sometimes cause you to get upset since it reminds you of all the things that have changed, and in my case, the people you miss. Its like you want a break from life every once in a while because all of the things that have happened are just piling up, but then you remember that you can do it. There are sooo many more people in the world who have it worse than a type one diabetic, so you push yourself because you know that life never throws anything at you that you cant handle.

In the last year or so, Ive had my fair share of heart break and difficult situations whether they be friendships, family issues, or work related problems, but just lately I felt a totally different type of heart break. Not the kind where you find out your boyfriend cheated on you for the last 4 months (keep in mind though, this kind of heart break is completely brutal), but the kind where your strongest supporter moves away. The kind where the person you tell absolutely everything to needs to leave for her own benefit. And when you think about it, the issue is no longer about you anymore. Its her and what she needs to do thats best for her, but it still breaks your heart to pieces to see her go because her support is a lot of what keeps you going. This is for you Justyce:

Dear Justyce.

I honestly dont even know where to begin. Youre amazing girl, from the inside out. I have never had a friend who was literally a carbon copy of myself in every way possible. You have seriously changed my life in so many ways, and I am so glad that i had the opportunity to not only meet you, but to be there for you and be the best friend that i could possibly be to you. For the short time that we had together this year, I think I told you more than Ive probably told a lot of people, because I trust you with my entire life. You know all my goals, dreams, pet peeves, my weaknesses, my strengths, and my boundries. The best part though, is that you respect every single one of those things and dont judge me for any of them. From day one of meeting you, you've been there for me through everything since second semester of grade 11, from boys, to my health, to family issues, or just those bad days Id have from time to time. You were always the first person to ask me whats wrong and I could never keep anything from you. You were what kept me going some days. You always made sure to remind me to check my sugar when i was first diagnosed with diabetes, and to take my insulin when I needed to. When my sugar was low you were the first one to walk with me to get food whether it meant being late for class or leaving a table full of hot guys we were talking to. You are the perfect definition of a true friend. Even though you moved back home to be with your family, I want you to know that I will be strong for you. Whatever life throws my way, Ill push through it and Ill call you when things get too tough for me to deal with on my own anymore. I want you to never forget that I am always here for you too. Life hasnt exactly been fair to you either, but I'm always a phone call or text message away if you ever need it. You know that I'd drop whatever I was doing if you needed me for something. The minute christmas break comes around, Ill be on my way up to lake 'whateverthefuck' to see you. I wish we could have done something extra special together before you left, but shit happens and Im glad I got to be with you when your dad came to get you. Saying goodbye to you is probably one of the harder things Ive had to do in my life, but I know we'll be visiting eachother and I cant wait! Smile that beautiful smile of yours, and remember that everyone back home loves you, and is going to miss you so much! Walking the halls of assumption isnt going to be the same without you. I love you Justyce. Youre one of the best friends in the whole world and I respect you more than you'll ever know. Youll always be my Stewy! Have fun with your dad, I will see you as soon as i can!

Love you always,
Jenn xoxox <3

Goodbyes definitely aren't my thing, and stress as a diabetic can be difficult to handle sometimes, but when your stress is caused by someone who needs to leave, its much easier to look back and relax because you know they have to do it because its what is best for them. Regardless of how much Im going to miss her, I can reassure myself that everything will be okay, and I know Ill see her again. Three hour car ride cant be that long <3

This is just a song that really reminds me of our friendship and how justyce as helped me through everythinghttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_zwh6IqzLM.

Six Things You Should Never Say To A Type 1 Diabetic

          I was just recently researching diabetes a little bit on the internet, and came across this list of things that should never be said to a diabetic. When I read them, I could connect to every single one of them immediately and thought it was the most perfect thing for a blog post, and figured I would share how each one of them relates me with my past experiences.

1) "Can you/should you eat that?"
         When going out to eat at a restaurant, having lunch with a few friends, or even a Christmas party with the family, these questions often come up more often than you would think. Anytime I'm not eating a salad with low carbs in it, this question tends to be asked. But the answer is always "I can eat whatever I want, actually". Of course I cant eat something that's loaded with sugar, like pop for example, just because it puts my sugar up so high, but if I really wanted it, or if my sugar was low, I could have it. The trick here is proportions and moderation. I can eat whatever I want, whether its pasta, donuts, cookies, ice cream, bread, whatever. I can have it, as long as its in a proportion adjusted to my blood sugar levels, not every single day, or unless my sugar goes low. If i wanted ice cream, I could have about a half a cup of it as a snack, or even choose frozen yogurt as an alternative. Pasta and bread are also easy to figure out because I could simply have whole wheat toast instead of a bagel, and whole wheat pasta in a bowl instead of white pasta heaping on a plate. Its not a matter what I can eat, its how much and when.

2) "Do you have BAD diabetes?"
          Both forms of diabetes are a chronic disease and not only are they hard to adapt new lifestyles with, but they both require a lot of attention. They cannot be compared to one another on terms of which one is worse, because they are both two totally different things and caused by two completely different factors. Yes, I do have to inject myself with insulin everyday, and yes I do have to take my blood sugar levels but that doesn't mean that its "bad". It means that I am taking care of myself. I may not get to go to Candy Mountain whenever I go to Toronto, but that's because I am taking care of myself and my body to the best of my ability. Both types of diabetes aren't exactly "good", but you cant consider them to be bad either. Its just a matter of how you adapt and take care of yourself. It may not be fun at times, but its livable.

3) "If you just exercise..." OR "If you just eat better.."

          While no one wants to be blamed for causing their own illness or disease is an autoimmune disorder completely unrelated to exercise and diet., This gets me going the absolute most. Being a type 1 diabetic, yes I do have to exercise more now to keep my body even healthier and I definitely have to watch what I eat when it comes to sugar and carbs, but doing this will not "reverse" or "cure" my diabetes. I do not care what anyone has to say that is not my doctor or endocrinologist, YOU CAN NOT REVERSE OR CURE TYPE ONE DIABETES FROM EXERCISING AND EATING RIGHT. It is impossible. I make ZERO insulin because my pancreas decided to quit on me, and your body needs it to function and be healthy. Without insulin, I will die. So if i were to stop taking insulin and just exercise and eat healthy, it wouldn't matter. My sugar would continue to rise, and my body would get weaker and weaker, and eventually have no energy for anything at all. So no, do not tell me that if I do something, my diabetes will go away because it WONT. Type 2 maybe, but NOT type 1.

4) "You don't look like a diabetic!" 

          It is impossible to "look" diabetic, unless someone witnesses you giving yourself an injection, or sees your pump site. To assume that diabetics are "over weight" is completely ignorant and totally not even true. A type one especially. Genetics determines whether you're type 1 diabetic, not your eating habits or how much you weigh and its totally a skewed stereotypical opinion for one to think so. It is absolutely not possible to be able to pick a type 1 diabetic out of a crowd of people.

5) "My Grandfather had that, and he lost his leg"

          Seriously? I cannot handle when people assume the worst of diabetes because they know someone who had it. Odds are that if your grandfather had it, it probably wasn't type one, and if it was, then he might have not take care of it the way he should have. Of course there are times where this isn't the case, but its not fair to assume something just because it happened to someone else. I am not your grandfather and diabetes effects everyone differently. Even though your grandfather had diabetes, do NOT act like you know everything about it because you DON'T. You don't know what its like to inject, or how to balance carbs with insulin and do adjustments, or how my body reacts to certain things. Do not give me advice on how to take care of it because your grandfather told you something, because we have two totally different medical records.

6) "I couldn't do that!" (inject insulin)

          HA. Pretty sure you would if it meant you were gonna die without it. That's all I really have to say about that.

jenn :)

The Best Years

I haven't really written a post in a while with all this back to school craze and being on the go with all my friends, appointments, sports and homework but I figured Id make a little time to write about a certain topic I've had a few of my readers email me about recently and I figured the time frame for it right now is absolutely perfect. Diabetes at school.

As many of you know, I am currently in my senior year at Assumption College in Brantford. They say your senior year is supposed to be the best year of your life, but with all the stress of good marks and finishing off highschool, it took me a little while to realize what it is exactly thats so awesome about it. Being a type 1 diabetic with stress, as I've explained earlier, is not at all the easiest thing in the world. The stress does cause my sugars to rise from time to time, which of course affects my grades in the long run as well, but thats besides the point. Many people ask me "How do you do it at school?". Well the same way I do it everywhere else of course. I take my insulin the mornings before eating breakfast (Note: Breakfast is the most important thing when it comes to being a diabetic attending school) just as I would if I were at home, I jump on the school bus, or drive, whichever way I get to school that day, and I attend all my classes. But what about low blood sugar in class, right? This was my most frequent question, and the answer is quite simple. I eat. I carry my purse to all of my classes and inside it I have my insulin, my glucose monitor, a granola bar or two and my Dex-4 tablets. Although it may seem easy to just reach into my purse to pull out a snack and start munching, a lot of teachers still don't understand. Just this semester, my original english teacher (before i changed classes) wouldn't let me eat in my class because her exact words were "My room is not a breakfast room, you can eat at home before you come". For a diabetic to hear this from a teacher is like a nightmare because you know right off the bat that this teacher isn't going to be a very understanding one. Of course, my first day with all the running around finding my classes and getting myself situated, I had low blood sugar and needed to have a small snack. As i finished off my granola bar, my teacher then told me I wasn't allowed to eat, and I told her that I'm diabetic and I didn't have much of a choice. To my benefit, the teacher at least pulled me into the hallway to talk about it, but of course I got the "Oh my dad has diabetes, I know you dont need to eat all the time". Excuse my french, but this royally pissed me off. I'm sorry but I highly doubt my diabetes and his are the same, especially if he doesn't need to eat all the time. My guess was that he was a type 2 diabetic. I then explained to her my situation and I believe she somewhat understood. I really can't emphasize enough though, that you should probably tell your teachers that you are a type 1 so they know how to react when things like low blood sugars happen, just because a lot of them don't understand.

Insuln at school was the second topic I received in a lot of questions, too, Well, I'm not on the insulin pump, so i can't bolus for my food that I eat, so I need to take injections before my meal at lunch time based on my blood sugars (as I am sitll on the sliding scale). This can be difficult sometimes, but again, telling your teacher that you have type 1 can really benefit you because leaving that extra 5 minutes really does help. When it comes to lunch hour at Assumption, I know our bathrooms are absolutely crowded with girls fixing their hair and makeup, along with their group of 3 or 4 friends who are waiting for them, so I dont exactly like stabbing myself with a needle when there are so many people in one confined area. And no, I refuse to do my injections in a bathroom stall because of all the germs and other bacteria in there that aren't good for me. I know its a long shot for that to make me sick, no pun intended, but diabetics really can't risk getting an infection what so ever. When you take those 5 extra minutes before the lunch bell to do your insulin, you don't run the risk of having someone bump into you while there is a needle in your stomach. I sometimes even do my insulin in the caff right before my meal since I'm not one to really care too much if people think its gross or not, or even in the hallways if the bathrooms are too busy and my teacher won't let me leave early. Its not difficult to do insulin at school, you just have to find the time and place to do it.

Of course there will always be those people who never understand diabetes, especially type 1. For some reason, a lot of people at my school think I have it because I didnt eat healthy, which is obviously 100% incorrect, but when it comes to dealing with these people, its best to just ignore them and let them think what they want. Theyre clearly uneducated and know nothing about the disease, so theyre really not worth your time. My senior year in highschool is not going to be filled with drama and people bringing me down, because I dont need that. Im going to make it the best that I can, and Im going to try my hardest to prepare for college because that's what it's about. I wouldn't go as far as saying highschool was the best years of my life, but I sure can say that it taught me a lot about who people are and how people act. Its been a very adventerous learning experience, but as soon as this years over, Im ready for a new adventure, with all new people, a totally new lifestyle, and a totally new province. Im ready for the next chapter in my life, because I believe every year should be your best year!

Jenn :)

Judgement Day

As a Type 1 Diabetic, we get to do some pretty (not so) cool things that someone whose not diabetic wouldn't get to do Whenever we go to the hospital for anything at all, we get (atleast I do anyways, probably not every single diabetic) two vials of blood taken from our arm, and then we have two cap-gases done where they slice open your finger and scrape a really long skinny tube across it to test for oxygen levels. If your a beginnier T1D like me, you have to go to your family doctor every 2 weeks where he looks at how your sugars have been, adjusts your insulin accordingly, and makes sure your circulation and eyesight are up to regular standards. Apart from all this special-but not so awesome- treatment, us diabetics do a lot of "training" and "prepping" for our 3 month Judgement Day.

Every three months, us diabetics have to go for our A1C blood test. To us, its like a do or die situation. In my house, this blood test is a huge thing. It basially shows you if youre a "good" or "bad" diabetic. Its literally like training for a marathon, but with blood sugar levels. The week before is when the doctor tells you that you have to go for this test is like, crunch time. All insulin injections are taken at the EXACT same time everyday, and all food thats being injested is closely watched and triple carb counted. Getting this number to be as low as possible is pretty much our life mission, so anything we can do to affect how low it reads, we do. Its like our hot seat to shine, or fail.

Your judge is yourself, and your co-judges are your doctor, family, and nurse. It feels amazing to hear from your doctor "Wow, you have such amazing blood sugar levels", and from your family "Youre doing so well". Its really not hard to be a "good" diabetic, but it is definitely rewarding in the long run when you score lower on your A1C this time than you did the last. Even though all the needles, and carb counting can be frustrating at times, and it feels like your trapped every now and then, it shows you that you can conquer anything, and that youre doing just fine. Sometimes thats all a T1D needs to hear on a rough day is "you're doing amazing". It reminds us that life goes on, even with diabetes, we just have a few extra things to be cautious of and a couple of blood test every now and then. The A1C can make you or break you, though. When that test result comes back and its higher than your last one, you feel like you got last place in a competition. Even though the results being high are completely out of your control, such as uncontrolable high stress levels for example, you feel extremely angry with yourself, and lose sight of what is actually important. The most any diabetic can do with this is try their best because you yourself know that you did all that you could to keep that number as low as possible.

Today, I went for my A1C and didn't have much of a notice. I woke up to the phone ringing, to find out that me and my Dad had a doctors appointment this morning that we had booked before leaving on our trip to Newfoundland. My doctor had realized its been almost 4 months since I went for my A1C and had me go right after the appointment, so I had a whole 15 minutes to prep for it. I know myself that the first two months was my trial and error period of figuring out my insulin dosages, so of course it will be on the higher side whether I like it or not. But I'm okay with that, because I know my next one will be a lot better, and my "crunch time" will be a little bit more than 15 minutes!

Jenn :)

Diabetes & Children

Juvenille diabetes is diabetes that affects people 18 years of age or younger, and is most commonly Type 1. When I was first diagnosed, I found it extremely difficult and overwhelming to have to begin a totally new life style change. I caught on after a week or so, and it became like second nature. I always wondered though, what would I say to a child if they were to ask me what I was doing while taking my blood glucose level, or even my insulin injections. How would you explain that stabbing myself was actually helping me live without them getting freaked out? Explaining my sickness and how its okay to give myself needles is one challege, but how would a doctor or a parent explain to a 5 year old that they now have to take needles a few times day, and check their blood sugar? I personally couldn't imagine it. As a child, I was terrified of needles. Booster shots were my biggest fear. Of course they hurt a lot more than a 4mm needle in the stomach would, but still though, how would you explain to a little 5 that all of a sudden he or she is really sick and needs to take needles at school. They would either have to learn the sliding scale (so many units based on blood sugar levels), or learn how to count carbs at such a young age. Personally, I envy any parent that has had to teach their child things like this. As a 17 year old, I thought school was the hardest part when it came to my insulin because a lot of the time my meals were never at the exact time every day, but I couldnt imagine a little 5 year old giving insulin to themselves at school on their own, but it happens, everyday somewhere in the world. Diabetes effects those who we never ever thought it would. It is a silent disease that you cant see. Even though someone may look perfectly healthy apart from maybe bruises on their stomach, you would never be able to pick out diabetics from a crowd. Even the pump is usually well hidden and unnoticeable if a person doesnt want it to be seen.

Many people say to me on a daily basis "Oh youre way too young to have diabetes", but actually, some people are born with it. I think being born with it would be one of the hardest things because a child would have to grow up not knowing what it is like to have a pancreas that works, and not to have to worry about blood sugar or insulin. Believe it or not, diabetes is a big responsibility, and it absolutely amazes me that young children have such an amazing handle on it (with guidance from their parents of course). Its not an easy thing to stab yourself with a needle everyday a few times a day, and often times its a mind over matter sort of thing, but children so young can do it, some even better than me. Its phenomenal. There are a lot of factors that go along with diabetes, some I dont even have mastered yet, so I cant imagine a 5 year old that doesn't really understand whats going on to be able to, but they do. Our diabetic technology has definitely evolved and made it a lot easier than it used to be just 20 years ago when you had to fill a needle yourself, and I dont believe pumps were out yet. When people say that children dont understand something, theyre 100% wrong, and diabetes proves it. For such a complex disease, hundreds of thousands of children in Canada can understand it and take care of themselves, they just need a little extra explaining and a little extra guidance. Children are a lot smarter than you think, especially those with Type 1 Diabetes, but is their an easier way for them to understand? Ive been wondering about this for a while, and came to think: What if their was a diabetic doll, that you could give insulin to, check her blood sugar, or even change pump sites on? Maybe the perfect, pretty, slim barbie doll that looked flawless on the outside, but had a disease on the inside? Younger children with type 1 diabetes I'm sure would have a very difficult time explaining to other children in their class why they have a pump atatched to their hip, or why they have to give injections, and perhaps a doll of some kind, or a barbie would help with that. I believe it would be easier to explain to a child that they have diabetes using a prop of some sort such as a doll, of for them to explain to their classmates why they inject themselves every day. Apart from a little girl explaining to her classmates what it is exactly that she has using a doll, Im sure she would love telling all her diabetic secrets and telling the doll things she wouldnt tell anyone else, just because the doll is exactly like her. Like an imaginary friend, thats diabetic and not so imaginary.

Jenn :)

Airplane Story

On the way home from Newfoundland, something happened on the airplane that really upset me, but I figured I'd just let it go and forget about it because clearly with what happened, the other person was quite ignorant and theres no point to letting it bother me. I got to thinking today though, and I thought Id share the story on my blog since it was a part of my life's journey with diabetes.

On the way to the airport to get the plane home to Ontario, my aunt's tire got a flat and we were late getting to the airport. Once we got through security we borded the plane right away because the plane was waiting for us. I sat down in my seat after putting my carry on luggage above in the storage bins, and got myself situated. I looked at the teenage boy and the mid 20s woman (they were brother and sister), said hello like most people do on the plane since youll be sitting beside eachother for a while, and was extremely taken back when the boy didnt even look at me, and the woman just looked at me, rolled her eyes, and looked away. At this point I knew it was going to be a long 3 and a half hours. Amongst all the rush in the morning, I had forgotten to take my long acting insulin, so once we were up in the air and the seat belt sign was off, I would take it even though it was a little bit off schedule. Once we were up in the air, I checked my sugar since it was going to be a while before my next meal, and as I was doing this, the woman beside me kept looking over, whispering to the guy beside her repeatedly, which didnt bother me, I dont particularly care because some people have never seen or experienced the routines of a diabetic in public before, especially a type 1. It was on the lower side, so I figured Id wait till after I ate to do my long acting just to be safe. When the food came along, It wasn't exactly the greatest thing I had ever tasted, but I knew it was definitely on the high carb side. A pizza roll, stuffed with sweet tomato sauce and A LOT of cheese, and something was telling me the cheese wasn't low fat. After eating it, I could feel my sugar rising quite high, so I checked it and sure enough it was at 12.3, Im on the sliding scale still, so I figured I'd take a smaller dose of rapid  insulin than I normally would (For this I went with 3 units). I got out my needles, both the rapid and the slow release, and began prepping them for injection. The woman kept looking over at the needles, looking at me, then rolling her eyes again. When i saw her do this around the 5th time, I was feeling a little on edge but i put aside an uneducated woman for my health anyways, because I knew what was worth more. I did my rapid injection first, and just as i lifted up my shirt to get ready for it, the woman looked over, looked at the guy beside her, and loudly said "Thats gross!". I just chuckled to myself, and the guy who was sitting across from aisle from me looked at me like he felt bad for me because of this woman. I found the spot for injection, and slowly, just incase of sudden turbulencem, put the needle in my stomach and injected the rapid insulin. Just as I was doing this, the woman beside me then looked at me square in eye and with her nasty attitude said "That's the grossest thing I've ever seen. Can't you do that somewhere else?". Before i could even comprehend what she said, she put her earphones in and closed her eyes. At first I thought this was some kind of joke and she was gonna wake up and say "Oh sorry, I was just kidding" and laugh, but no. She was dead serious. I couldn't believe it, and I actually shed a few tears because I was so upset. The guy across the aisle looked at me and told me it wasn't worth the tears and that she wasa obviously uneducated. He seemed like he had had experience with a type one before, and told me to go ahead and do the second needle. I really didnt care at all what the woman beside me was going to say about my second needle. The line for the bathrooms were always long, the bathrooms were tiny and I assumed would be hard to inject in, and I had waited long enough for my long acting. As I put the second injection in my stomach, the boy on the inside nudged the woman with his elbow and she woke up, looked at me, and loudly said "Wow, i cant wait to get off this plane". By this point I just started laughing hard, as well as the guy across the aisle, and shook my head at her. I knew this woman was probably one of the most ignorant people I had ever met and totally wasn't worth me getting upset over.

I'm proud that I am diabetic, I dont let it get me down or stop me from doing anything. I shouldnt have to wait in a line for 20 minutes on an airplane just to do a needle because some girl doesn't like it. Ive done them at tables in restaurants, the middle of a kitchen at my friends house, and no one else seemed to care. This woman could have just asked me if it bothered her that much, but because she decided to be immature about it, I have no respect for her and did what I had to do. When it comes to people like this, I ignore them. You cant let them bring you down because theyre not worh it. Do what you have to do and smile about it. Uneducated people will get over it, and they'll tell the story to someone else, that someone else will make them feel bad and say "they were probably diabetic". I believe in karma, and karma will balance out. I know my next plane ride, I'll probably tell the person i'm sitting beside that im a T1D, if they decide theyre going to say hello back. If not, screw em!

Jenn :)

Forever, Daddy's Little Princess <3

Yesterday was my dad's birthday, and I got a little bit busy spending the day with him to write this, but either way, I think he deserves it. Ever since I was little, Ive always been a daddy's girl. Hes always been the person to run to when things got scary, like when the water cooler used to make terrifying noises at night like someone was trying to break in, Id run to his room and cuddle up and fall asleep between him and mom. Even though I kicked like crazy in my sleep when i was little, he always let me sleep on his side of the bed. My has always been someone to work his butt off. Whether it was working on something for himself or someone else, he was always out in the shop. One day I was watching TV, and he walked in feeling a little bit sick and didn't go outside to work on anything for most of the day. Being only 5 years old, I still noticed that this was out of the ordinary. Since i was a very curious kid, I of course asked him what was wrong. For some reason, I've remembered exactly what he said, exactly where I was, and exactly which episode of Arthur i was watching when my dad told me that he was sick and that he had a disease called diabetes. Only 4 months ago, did I realise that me remembering everything about it must have been a sign. Although he has type 2 and I have type 1, I knew for a fact that there was a reason why I could vividly see  through the eyes of myself at the age of five, that 30 second long conversation so well inside my head at such a young age 

I know diabetes has been quite the battle for him lately, especially with the stress on his bodies of his other health issues, but regardless of all that, hes definitely been my biggest supporter since the day I went to the doctor and found out I had Type One Diabetes. Hes taught me a lot about diabetes, and before I even went to see the diabetic specialist and the nutritionist, I already knew a lot of what they were telling me from what my dad had previously told me the day before. Even though hes sick and cant really do too much, I still respect what he does for my family more than anything. I know if anything ever happened when finances and health benefits became an issue, he'd sell the clothes off his back if it meant that I'd be getting my insulin and three square meals a day. I'm so glad that my dads been there to help me out every step of the way with diabetes. When i was diagnosed, I at least had an idea of what it was instead of it all being completely new to me and not having any idea what anything is. Insulin was the only new thing that neither of us really knew much about except that it helps to bring down blood sugar levels, but we were both willing to learn about it if it meant saving my life. Everyday I'm so thankful for a dad as helpful as mine, and I'm so happy to be blessed with such an amazing support system, even if he does pronounce diabetes as "Di-a-beet-us" and it irritates the hell out of me. So happy one day belated birthday daddy, I hope your day was amazing because you deserve nothing less than the best. Regardless of whether both your kids are sick, I speak for both of me and Tyler, your the best daddy either of us could have, and we love you more than anything, & even when I'm married someday with kids, I'll always be your little princess <3

Jenn

"You Have Diabetes.. But You Dont Look Fat?"

Ahhhh, Im sure we are all familiar with those people who think they know everything. Although we try our best to just let these people think what they want, when it comes to my diabetes, I cant help but correct some people on the things they say about diabetes.

When I was first diagnosed, the most frequent response to someone finding out was "But you're too young to have diabetes". This bothered me the most because they obviously thought I had the kind that can be caused from eating unhealthy (Type 2 Diabetes). I had to explain to them that people can actually be born with Type 1 diabetes and that I am amongst hundrends of thousands of teens and children that are insulin dependant. It is actually shocking how many people think the two are the same or get them mixed up. I personally and someone who can openly talk about my diabetes because I know there are a lot of people who could ask me a hundren questions on the spot because theyre curious, so I dont mind informing them, especially those who are confused between the two.

For anyone reading this who is trying to make sense of diabetes, the first thing that I cant stress enough is that Type 1 diabetes has no cause besides that it can be hereditary if it runs in the family. There are quite a few different branches of diabetes, but Type 1 and Type 2 are the most common. However, I cannot stress enough, that T1D and T2D are completely different! Yes, they both require you to check your blood sugar levels, and yes, you do need to accomodate sugary things like soda and ask for diet instead, or even skip the donut at Tim Hortons, but they work completely the opposite. But what is the difference? Type 1 diabetics are required to take insulin, no matter what, for the rest of their lives because theyre pancreas, for some unknown reason in most people, has stopped producing insulin, which turns sugar into energy for the body to use. Type 2 on the other hand, is when the body produces kind of like an immunity to its own insulin, often times from an unhealthy diet, or even hereditary as well. Basically, the body requires more insulin that usual to convert the sugar into energy due to the immunity to it. Two totally different things are going on inside the body between the two types of diabetes.

Its really frustrating for a type 1 diabetic to hear someone say "Shes diabetic because she ate too much sugar!". This is 100% wrong. Even in a type 2 diabetics life, that may not be the case. Just because we have to watch what we eat, doesnt mean that we have Type 1 because we didnt watch it so closely before. Development of Type 1 Diabetes has absolutely nothing to do with how we ate prior to our diagnosis. When people say stuff like this, it makes us feel like its our own fault that we have Type 1 Diabetes, and its not. A lot of us are already self concious about the fact that we have it and the things we go through on a day to day basis, so its not fair to make us feel like we did this to ourselves and blame it on an unhealthy life style before we were diagnosed just because you googled diabetes on the internet and got a general result without further researching it. The type of diabetes I have now is probably not the same as the diabetes your grandfather was just recently diagnosed with in which he takes just pills for, so please dont treat me like they are. On the other hand, diabetes regardless of the type is still a serious matter, and both type 1s and type 2s should be respected for what their life has thrown at them.

Jenn :)

To Love A Diabetic <3

I personally did not write this, but I came across it today and thought it was incredible and I just had to share it. Credit goes to the person who actually wrote this, not me.

To love a diabetic is to be a doctor. It means helping her to remember her medications. It means driving her for an hour to the only 24 hour pharmacy when she’s gotten the flu and can’t take the Nyquil in the refrigerator. Or driving her to the hospital when the simple flu turns into bronchitis and her blood turns acidic. To love a diabetic is to be patient. It means knowing that some days she won’t feel good for no visible reason. It means canceling long term plans when suddenly she doesn’t feel well enough to go on a trip. Or waiting to go to bed while she injects her bedtime insulin. To love a diabetic is to be a priest. It means consoling her when she’s tired and feels like she can’t do it anymore. It means listening and not passing judgment while she tries to figure out her new dosages and makes mistakes. Or, during those tough times, listening to her burial wishes – just in case. To love a diabetic is to be a guardian. It means standing up for her when strangers accuse her of being a drug addict. It means discreetly asking her friends to keep an eye on her when she’s testing new medications and doesn’t know the reactions to her body yet. Or staying up with her through the night because she’s too afraid to fall asleep where a coma can find her. To love a diabetic is to not be superficial. It means seeing her bruises as beauty marks. It means caressing the scars across her stomach. Or kissing her dry lips when she is hooked to IVs. To love a diabetic is to be understanding. It means knowing that she doesn’t mean to get hot tempered when her blood sugars are too high. It means listening to her when she asks to start a family soon. Or donating time and DNA to sciences you don’t fully understand just because she asks you to and because it promises to cure her. To love a diabetic is to be smart. It means researching new medications even though she never asks you to. It means listening to her explain her new findings in terms that aren’t typical language. Or making her smile when she desperately wants to scream. To love a diabetic is to be selfless. It means going to a restaurant based off the carbohydrates menu instead of the atmosphere. It means going without dinner when money is tight because you can buy her medication with it instead. Or testing your blood sugar on her new meter to make sure it’s working properly even though you’re terrified of needles. To love a diabetic is to be brave. It means keeping your chin up while she talks about those scary moments. It means not allowing her medical mistakes to colour your relationship with her emotionally. Or keeping positive spirits even though all of the websites and gatherings tell you she won’t statistically make it past her 40s. To love a diabetic is not easy. It means putting her medical needs before any other finances. It means worrying every moment that she is properly cared for even when you can’t see her. And it means trusting her life in the hands of so many doctors who don’t understand the full complexities of the disease. Thank you for loving a diabetic.


(Source: boing345brooke)
found here: http://unemployedpancreas.tumblr.com/

Diabète dans St.Pierre

Traveling with diabetes as we all know is hard to manage while on vacation. Ive been in Newfoundland for the last week and I ready have had a few issues with it. Forgetting to take insulin is probably the worst thing when it comes down to it. Off setting insulin is super easy for me because if I go out with my cousins to the bar for example, I lose track of time and forget all together, or ill expect to leave at 12 and not get home till 3am. Theres not much point in taking it if I have to be up for 9 to leave for a days adventure and theres no insulin working for me for my breakfast and ill get a low sugar between meals.

Meals and eating out can be rough to judge though, especially when eating at restaurants. I have to be really careful because you have to eat on your regular schedule, and finding one can be a challenge down in St.Johns that isn't fast food. When ordering, you have to try to choose something healthy and with the least amount of carbs. I don't have a pump so I don't have to worry about it as much as someone who is, but I try to keep my carbs at mealtime between 50 and 70 depending on my activity. Salads are usually my first choice with a vinegrette, NOT a cream dressing. Cream dressings are loaded with hidden carbs and fat content. I never get an appetizer though because I find it makes my sugar levels skyrocket whether I get a salad vs pasta. I also never get juice or pop, always water or milk. If there no decent salads to order as my main course, I usually go for a sandwich on whole wheat with light mayonnaise. Most common restaurants serve sandwiches and wraps with french fries which are also empty carbs that are hard to burn off. Always ask for side order options though! A lot of the time you can get a baked potatoe which is better than fries, a salad, chili, soup, or if you really want fries, most places serve sweet potatoe fries, although they usually cost about a dollar extra and in my opinion it tastes better than regular fries. I try to hold off on dessert as its usually something made of chocolate and loaded with sugar, unless its a buffet and i can get small portions, or even just fruit. I find buffets to be the worst though because you feel like you want to get what you paid for, so you tend to over eat.

Low blood sugar isn't hard to experience while on vacation either. Here in Newfoundland, Im lucky that I have so much family here and we own our own workshop to store vehicles for when we come down every year. Regardless of our access to vehicles though, walking around visiting tourist sites, or even visiting family for an hour or two can really bring down my sugars quickly. I went downtown St.Johns one day with my cousin and his friend and noticed that walking everywhere and going in and out of stores really made my sugar low and I'd have to stop for something quick. Visiting family was brutal for my sugars when I was visiting younger cousins because i would be running around and chasing them, playing games, and the next thing I knew I was shaky and sweaty. Here i was thinking it was just from running around, but sure enough I checked my sugar and it was 2.7 so you really have to be careful.
Yesterday my mom, my aunt, my cousin and myself decided to go to a french island that belongs to France thats 25km from the south west coast of Newfoundland. We went over by boat which was a two hour long ride, and thank goodness we brought snacks because I could tell after two hours that my sugar was low, so I had an apple. St.Pierre is definitely not a place designed for people with type one diabetes, however. Walking is the main source of transportation, which is good exercise but can really mess up blood sugar levels when you walk for too long as they can drop quick. This happened to me once while I was there during my one night stay, but there were no places with quick sugar, or fast food places (chuck wagons) that took Canadian, so we had to walk all the way back to the hotel where I could eat ravioli from a can to tie me over. It wasn't the best but it got me through. A few hours later we decided to stop for a later lunch/early dinner. The restaurants were nice, but the food selection was terrible and only had menus with lunch food on it that consisted of about 6 things. Anyways, I ordered chicken caesar salad, took my sugar, and 5 units of insulin as i am on the sliding scale. When my food came out. I knew right off the bat that I shouldn't have taken any insulin as the portion size looked like it was for a toddler. So I ate my meal and we continued our day, but of course an hour later my sugar was low again so we went back to the hotel for a snack and freshened up. I had a snack, went out for dinner a bit later and everything seemed fine. I went back to the hotel and felt high sugar symptoms. I checked it and it was 15! My assumption is that my bread at dinner wasn't whole wheat as they don't have much selection or even food for that matter, and my pop was not diet. The language barrier could have effected this too, though. St.Pierre was not what I thought it would be and it wasn't all that nice of a place, but I enjoyed the boat ride too and from the island anyways, apart from low sugar episodes.  

My biggest concern while in St.Pierre was "what if something weird were to happen with my insulin and i needed medical attention?". It never had a very large hospital, although one was being built, but i only knew that from other people. I did not know where the hospital was located, if they had an emergency unit like an ambulance or how to even get ahold of them as there were no phone numbers, amd they were weird numbers anyways. Three sets of two numbers was considered a phone number. I also never seen a pharmacy! It made me wonder how these people got their prescriptions. A boat is sent from france to Nova Scotia, and from Nova Scotia to StPierre once a week with supplies but what about those who need something as soon as possible? It made me wonder if there was anyone on the island who was a T1D and how they lived with it. The whole island definitely doesn't cater to people with type 1, so it really made me wonder how they do it! Over all, it was a neat experience!

Jenn :)

Life's a Field, and I'm Just Ploughing Through <3

When I was first diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes, I thought people were going to look at me differently because I had to take needles up to 6 times a day, and constantly check my blood sugar levels. To be one hundred percent, I thought it was going to be one of my biggest flaws apart from everything else teenage girls pick apart about themselves. As a 17 year old girl, Im at the point in life where zits, my hair, my makeup, my nails, my tan, my phone, facebook and friends are a major part of my life, but not as much as they used to be anymore..
Since being diagnosed with T1D, I believe it has entirely changed my life as well as my outlook on it. No matter where you are, there are always going to be people who have something rude they feel they have to say to hide their own insecurities, and worrying about what these people would say about me used to stress me out to the max, but diabetes has shown me that there are so many other things in life to worry about then some stupid comment judgmental girls have to say. It just reflects who they really are. My motto is simply "You barely know me, so don't act like you know my story". Basically this just means that yeah, everyone has a past, whether they did some good or bad things, but if you barely know someone, odds are you only know either the good OR the bad, so don't judge me based on one over the other. Diabetes has definitely changed me for the better. I cherish every minute of my life whether Im out playing soccer, working at TSC, or enjoying the country life while ripping around on quads, dirtbikes or trucks. I wont ever let diabetes control my life, nor will i let negative people have a stressful impact on it either. You have to take charge of your life because only you know what is best for yourself and keeps you the healthiest. Little things in life like high school drama are the least of my concerns anymore. I live for me and nobody else. As long as I'm healthy and living I can proudly say: "I have diabetes. Diabetes does't have me!"

Jenn :)

Take Life By The Horns

Living with type 1 diabetes can be difficult sometimes, especially for an adolescent whose just newly diagnosed. Not only is it all over whelming but there are a lot of things to take into consideration. For me, my most difficult thing was my needles being regulated and on time every day. Beens as I am a teenager, I obviously like to go out with my friends and go to parties with everyone else, but having diabetes made this hard because I would have to stop what we were doing to eat, check my blood sugar, or even take a couple units of insulin.

At first I thought my friends were going to get frustrated with me, but they completely understood. When it comes to parties, I myself decided that I wouldn't drink because my sugar levels were usually about 5.5 mmol so i really couldnt afford them to go much lower, especially considering I always drink more than i should. If you do decide to go out and get "drunk"with friends, know your limit an be with someone the whole night who knows the signs and symptoms of a low blood sugar spell. Going out with friends and doing typical "teenager" stuff can be a hassle sometimes, but it is possible. Its just a matter of trial and error!

Jenn :)

Woah, Needles? Say What?!

When I was first diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes, I was well well aware that my body could no longer produce insulin, but I was expecting my doctor to tell me that I was going to be on pills just like my dad and that I was going go be feeling better in a month or so, but little did I think that I would be on insulin shots 3-6 times a day. When my doctor first told me that I was going to have to learn to give myself needles, I broke down. I was terrified of needles and always had been. My grandmother is a type 1 diabetic and i would cringe at even the thought of seeing her do it because it always felt like i could feel her pain for a spit second whenever she would inject herself. Learning to give myself needles was probably the biggest hurdle for me being newly diagnosed, as they were always my biggest fear. I couldn't even lance my finger when i first found out i was diabetic, so I didn't think I'd be able to do insulin shots. The first time I did a shot on my own without the nurse guiding my hand was a Lantus shot of 20 units before bed. This was probably my biggest mistake. For anyone else who is diabetic and on Lantus insulin, I'm sure you know exactly what I mean by the "Lantus Sting" that has you crippled over in pain for an hour.When I injected myself, I immediately felt that horrid sting that makes you want to throw up, which obviously made me scared of it. Psyching myself out with Lantus became a problem and when i came home from the hospital, i would put it off or sometimes not even take it at all. Then when I checked my sugars, they were noticeably high again.

My biggest suggestion to any diabetic is to 1) never skip insulin shots and 2) tell a doctor right away about discomfort. Here i was thinking "Wow, I'm gonna be in pain twice a day everyday for the rest of my life", which of course would give anyone a negative outlook on diabetes. But your not stuck with that pain! Once I informed my doctor that I was in that amount of pain, he switched me to a new long acting insulin called Novalin which is cloudy apposed to clear like Lantus. I no longer feel that sting nearly as much anymore, the only thing that worries me sometimes is when the cloudiness separates from the clear part of it and it freaks me out a bit. Insulin injections are a mind over matter situation though. To this day i still scare myself with needles from time to time, you just have to remember that your body needs it to function properly. Developing bad habits is never a good idea when managing diabetes!

Jenn :)

We All Have a Story..

Hi, my names Jennifer O'Leary, but i prefer Jenn for short. Im a country girl from Burford, hick central of Brant County, and I love it. Ive lived in the country my entire life and grew up on a farm in Princeton unitl i was 12. When I moved, I enrolled in elementry school at Blessed Sacrament, and graduated on to highschool to attend Assumption College. I was always pulling off high grades from elementry school to first semester of grade 11. I'll be the first to admit it, everyone in highschool feels this constant need to fit it, make friends and get along with others. Girls are probably the worst for this, but while trying to do this, fights, drama and tears come out of it which does cause quite a bit of stress for a teenager in highschool, but everyone goes through it. I had a boyfriend of two and a half years so balancing friends with him became a challenge. I myself have had my fair share of arguements and fall outs with some close friends, but back in February of 2012, everything just started to pile up. After two and a half years, my boyfriend had pretty much broken me into a million pieces, and my best friend of 5 years chose to listen to rumours and lies from a former ex-bestfriend. Stress was a huge factor in my life when it came to school, and home was not too much better at the time. I began skipping classes, would not do homework and just felt tired and exhausted all the time. My grades began slipping from high 80s to low 60s and 50s. I hated getting up for school because no matter how early I went to bed, I always felt as though I never got enough sleep. Each night got worse, and it came to a point where i would have to get up 6 or 7 times in the night to go pee, and chug approx. 1 litre of water because no matter what i did, I could not quench my thirst. Then one day i went to school and felt extreme hunger as well as tiredness, so i bought food before all my classes, i would eat it before the lesson would start and i fell asleep in every single one of my classes because i was so tired, and my eyes were always blurry so i could not see the board no matter how close I sat. At one point, i would go to school and just sleep the entire day, lunch and everything. On May 1st my friends and I decided to go visit one of our favourite teachers in his classroom and he had commented on how much weight i had lost, how pale my face was and how sunk in my eyes were.I decided that it was probably time to go to the doctor and called my mom to make me an appointment. When I got home that day, my mom took me to the doctors and i realized how difficult i found it to walk and how bad my legs would cramp up after sitting in the car for only 15 minutes. As i entered the doctors office after waiting just a few minutes in the waiting room, my doctor walked in and just by looking at me he had an alarmed look on his face. I explained to him my symptoms and how i was feeling so he asked if he could check my glucose level with his monitor. As we waited for the results, we heard a lot of beeping and noise from the little machine. My blood sugar level was too high to give us a reading. The meter said my glucose level was OVER 33.3 mmol/L My doctor gave me a presription for glyboride and told me that it was gonna "punch" my pancreas to get it to start working again. I was sent to the hospital the next morning for blood work, where i received an actual reading. My blood sugar was 38.7 mmol/L. I was 1.3 away from going into a hyperglycemic coma. After getting my results, my doctor told me to go to emerge in the woodstock hospital where i would be emited and put on an insulin drip through the IV. After about 8 hours of this, my doctor finally came to see me and told me that i had Type 1 Diabetes and would be on insulin for the rest of my life. My mom burst out in tears and my dad looked terrified. My doctor explained that I would be in the hospital for approximately a week to learn how to give myself insulin shots, how to manage my diabetes, and a nutritionist would be coming in to teach me how to count carbs. At first, I was terrified of the needles. I didn't even want to look at them when the diabetic specialist came to visit my room. After a while, I began to play with the insulin pens and tried to get a better feel for them. I was admitted on a Wednesday, and by Saturday I was giving myself my needles like a pro! A lot of family and friends came to visit, and my friend Jamie came with her boyfriend Austin to bring me a pet fish to stay with me. On Monday I was finally allowed to leave but it wasn't over yet. I had to go to the doctors every three days, see the specialist and nutiritionist a few times in a month and learn how to deal with it at school. Although everything was so quick and overwhelming, i got the just of things pretty fast and caught on to everything. Since leaving the hospital, I feel as though i learned a lot about my life and how to be healthy not only through diet but how to manage stress and things like that. To this day i still dont know everything there is to know about T1D, and I still have a little ways to go!